Pieces of a Death Eater
by vratsababe
Summary: A look into the life of Lucius Malfoy from childhood to old age to determine what it was that drove him to the extremes in his life. You can't judge a person until you've witnessed the breadth of where they come from.
1. Prologus

Pieces of a Death Eater--Prologus

People don't just wake up one morning and decide to be evil; nor do they choose to be good. Although we are the ones who ultimately decide the color which we paint our footprint on the planet, our viewpoints are not determined on one thing. We are all made up of different slivers of good and different slivers of evil. We all have personal secrets, family secrets, and secrets we don't know ourselves buried within us that compose who we are and what we believe. We are raised in different families, in different economic environments, and different geographical locations and these things can help develop our dogmas and our creeds whether we are seen by the world as good or evil and even if we view the world as good or evil.

It took me a great many years to see this. It took me two wars, the birth of a child, the birth of a grandchild, and the death of a spouse to realize that I've been accepting a very narrow view of the world as correct and although I can't accept other peoples' viewpoints, perhaps it's enough of a discovery for me to see that what is right in my eyes might not be right in another's… and maybe that's okay and then again maybe not. I'm far too old to be trying to reverse my thinking now.

I stand at Narcissa's grave in the light snow. It's March; far too late for snow to be falling. It seems like the grass just finally began to show and now here comes another depressing layer of white. The marble is cold as I touch it with an ungloved hand. I trace the letters of her name, Narcissa Angelica Black-Malfoy, in the white stone. I must have carved these letters myself from the sheer number of times I have traced them with my finger in this very short, very long year. I don't know what I would have done without her in my life.

Draco and Astoria will be here soon. Scorpius and his wife will be here as well; they say they have big news. It's a pity, in a sense; Narcissa would have loved to have seen her great-grandchild. I'm sure that's what it is. She loved kids as long as they were from her bloodline. I leave a flower on her tombstone just as I do every day I come and visit her, this time I leave a red lily. Narcissa loved all flowers… pardon me if I'm getting too sentimental. It's not becoming of me, I know.

One of the peacocks is sitting pompously on the railing of the balcony. Those birds think they own the place…


	2. Going off to Start a New Legacy

Lucius awoke in the early hours of the morning. The sun had not even begun to peek from the horizon but he wasn't about to return to sleep. He was too anxious, too nervous, too burdened about the day to come. He was only eleven, but that was plenty old enough to decide that going to Hogwarts was a big day for his mother and father… or his mother, rather. He would have to go off and learn how to be a great magician and how to represent his family and it was too much for his young mind to handle. He pushed himself out of bed and put on a house coat and slippers. Perhaps a snack would ease his mind.

The hallway was dark and cold in the early September morning. The portraits of his ancestors snoozed in their guilded frames. Only his Great-Uncle Caesar was awake and he gave Lucius a reprimanding look for being awake. The grandfather clock at the pivot in the staircase read half past four as he squinted to read it. His mother and father wouldn't be awake for another four hours or so. It would be his time to scout around the manor for the last time before school.

Reaching the kitchen, he decided he wasn't hungry. His feet instead carried him to the room which he had deemed his "study". All of his many books lined the walls and a desk sat next to the huge windows lined in drapes. It was much like his father's study, but without the stench of cigar smoke and spilled brandy. His mother thought it was precious that he had made his own "grown-up room". Precious; that was everything he did. He didn't mind so much, but that was the only descriptive word she used. He was never magnificent, never daring, never charming… just precious. His mother wasn't as educated as his father was although she had gone to Beaubaxtons as long as he had gone to Hogwarts but she preferred to socialize when his father had used to love to read. She tried and he knew that. Lucius loved his mother deeply.

His companion in the large house, however, was his collection of books. He had only asked for books for presents for holidays, except for the occasional broom. He had been flying as long as he had been reading and that was a hobby he had held for the majority of his young life. He figured that if nothing else at school he would be able to read well and fly well. In theory, he could learn the spells well. He had many spell books and now he had a wand… perhaps he could try something out now. No one would find out.

Luckily, he had been carrying his wand around since he had gotten it and it was tucked away in his housecoat. His parents had encouraged him to have it on him at all times because that's how it would be for the rest of his life. He pulled the slender piece of shined, magical wood from his pocket and chose a spell book from the shelf. He had read the books and could recognize the functions of the spells from their names but he had never been able to try them out. Quickly running over to shut the cracked door, he returned to the desk and flipped the book to a random page.

"Summoning spell, Accio," he whispered as his clear gray eyes scanned the page. "Sounds simple enough."

He pushed back the sleeves of his house coat and read the instructions carefully. Taking a deep breath in preparation and pointing his wand at a book stack near the door, he muttered, "_Accio!"_

To his great surprise, the top book came whizzing from the pile and hurtled towards him, he dove out of the way and the book went smashing through the window.

"Shit," Lucius gasped as the alarm charm on the house set off and an orange glow surrounded the window, accompanied by a siren-like howl. He stored his wand quickly in his pocket again. His father was going to kill him.

Sure enough, Abraxas and Irena came busting through the door, wands drawn. Lucius had taken shelter behind the dark wooded desk and peered out when they entered. Abraxas looked as angry as a pack of charging Erumpents.

"Lucius! What the hell are you doing out of bed at this hour?" his father yelled in that all too familiar booming voice. "How did you break the window?"

"I couldn't sleep," Lucius said, standing and averting his father's cold, steel blue eyes. "It was an accident."

"It's always an accident, Lucius. You can never take accountability for your actions," Abraxas crossed his arms as he continued shouting. Lucius looked behind him at his mother, who was shaking her head silently. It was unclear if she was disappointed in him or his father. Why didn't she ever say anything to defend him?

"I am taking responsibility, Father. I didn't mean to break the window," Lucius stated in the same monotone voice he had to adopt when talking to his father.

"What were you doing? Why are you even awake?"

"I couldn't sleep. I was getting a book."

"Get back to bed, now!" Abraxas shouted and pointed up at the stairs. His mother scurried forward and repaired the window with the wave of her wand. Lucius gritted his teeth and followed his father's orders, taking the stairs as fast as he could.

"Hopefully they can teach you some decency at that school," Abraxas called after him. "I can't imagine the next generation of Malfoys being as disrespectful as you are."

He slammed the door behind him as he entered his room. He plopped down onto his navy blue comforter and sighed angrily into his pillow. Disrespectful? He avoided doing anything to upset his father. He had lived in this house every day of his life and had walked on eggshells looking for just the right things to say or do to impress his father, but nothing ever worked. As soon as he was at Hogwarts he would be free. He would talk to whomever he wanted, he would eat whatever he wanted, he would make friends with whomever he wanted, and he would yell and scream if he felt like it. Hogwarts was going to be the gateway to building his own legacy. Lucius Draconis Abraxas Malfoy would be respected and would rule the castle. He would get his way and no one and nothing would get in his way.

Just four more hours… just four more hours…


End file.
